Part 1  The Daily Grind
 

1. Every morning Helen put her left shoe on before her right shoe. She
combed her hair before she put on any mascara. And she made her bed before
she ironed her dress. There wasn't any special reason for doing things in that
order. It was just a habit, and she never thought about it.

2. But work wasn't a habit, even after fifteen years. She grumbled about it
to anyone who would listen every morning. She told her husband what would
happen each day. It was the same every day. He knew it off by heart, and
didn't listen any more. He talked about the football, and she didn't listen to
that either.

3. Her friend, Molly, would be on the bus, complaining about her
neighbour. Old Jack, the timekeeper at the factory gate, would wink at her.
He had been winking at her for seven years now. He was too shy to say
anything. Somebody would be away, and Mullins, the supervisor, would ask
her to show a new girl what to do. If only something unpredictable would
happen!
 

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Exercise 1  (Bus to Heaven  --  Part 1  The Daily Grind)

Please finish the sentences below. Put a phrase from the list in each space.

1. Helen had a habit of ________________________________.

2. She could never make a habit of _______________________.

3. She was always grumbling about _______________________.

4. Helen and her husband had one-way conversations about _____
           _____________________________________________.

5. Helen could guess __________________________________.

6. She hated living like this because _______________________.
 

a) exactly what would happen at the factory
b) having to go to work
c) her job and his football
d) going to work
e) it was so predictable
f) putting on her left shoe before her right shoe

Part 2    The Special

1. It was drizzling when Helen reached the bus stop. She was so depressed that
she didn't even look up as she heard the bus coming. She stepped off the pavement
to flag it down, as she always did.

2. The driver looked at her weekly pass without a word. His face seemed
shaded. She sat down, and suddenly noticed it was a luxury tour coach with tinted
windows. It wasn't the factory bus at all. Helen went to jump up, but a man in the
next seat smiled at her very nicely. "Blow work", she thought, and relaxed again.

3. The coach had a tour guide. He came to see Helen, and seemed embarrassed.
She wasn't part of the quota, he said. It was a terrible mistake, but it was too late to
change now. Helen was surprised, and asked where the bus was going.

4.  The guide hated his work. Now he had to tell this stupid woman that she was
dead. Nobody had asked her to step onto the Bus to Heaven. There would be an
awful argument.

Part 3  Alarming Information

1. Helen was alarmed to learn that the bus was an express. But then she laughed.
The guide said it was an express to heaven. All the tourist brochures said things like
that.

2. She would love to make the trip, she told the guide, but she really had to go to
work. Surely the driver would be able to open the door at the next traffic light. She
would just hop out. This was fun.

3. The guide began to stutter. How could he explain? It would not be possible to
get off the bus, he said. It didn't stop at traffic lights. Anyway, ghosts could never
learn to live happily on earth. People didn't understand them.

4. Helen couldn't work out what this fellow was talking about. Ghosts? What
was this talk about ghosts? The guide sighed, and vanished up to his chin. Then
Helen noticed her own arm was sticking through the seat in front. She was too
surprised to speak.

5. Surprise gave way to anger. How dare they make a ghost out of her! They had
kidnapped her. She would sue the director!
 

 

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Exercises for  Part 3  (Alarming Information)

Grammar Exercise: Verb + to + Verb

Please fill in the spaces in the sentences below. Use one of the [Verb + to + Verb]
sets for each space.

1. Helen was_______________________that the bus was an express.

2. She would ______________________the trip.

3. She really _______________________to work.

4. The driver would be _______________ the door.

5. The guide_______________________.

6. Ghosts could never _______________ happily on earth.

7. She was too ____________________.
 

a) able to open
b) surprised to speak
c) began to stutter
d) alarmed to learn
e) had to go
f) learn to live
g) love to make
 

 

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Part 4      The Trip

1.  The man who had smiled tried to calm her down. He told her to enjoy herself.   He began to explain the story of his life, but Helen wasn't listening. She forced herself to think. She had to get out of here.

2.  Helen expected the trip to take a long time. It seemed that the other passengers weren't worried. They seemed to be rather quiet. She hoped to get lunch soon. Personally she felt rather peckish. But she wasn't sure if ghosts were supposed to eat.

Part 4      Exercises

In English, some verbs like TRY can be followed by  TO + VERB (e.g. to calm), or by VERB + -ING (e.g. calming). Other verbs can also take THAT + NOUN + VERB PHRASE (e.g. that she should enjoy ..). Sometimes these switches change the meaning a bit, sometimes not (there are no rules for meaning change, only custom).  Below are some examples. See if you can make up other sentences in English that do the same kind of thing.

 

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Bus to Heaven © copyright Thorold May 1996; All Rights Reserved [go to end][go to top]Part 5        The Bluff

1. Helen decided to bluff the guide and the driver. First, she
would persuade them that she wasn't a ghost. Second, she would
threaten to get them into trouble. She hoped that that would
make them nervous. Third, she would demand that they return her
to the bus stop.

2.  She tried to study the other passengers. They seemed to be
quiet. They didn't seem to be very alert, but they weren't
asleep either. None of them were asking for food or drink.

3. Helen hoped to alarm the guide by acting differently. She
began to sing. The guide rushed up saying 'Shh'. She told him
to mind his own business. She demanded to receive refreshments.
Finally, she insisted that the driver turn the bus around.

 

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Part 6              A Difficult Passenger

Helen:           "Look here you fool. Either be useful or mind your own business."

Conductor:    "The boss won't like this at all!"

Helen:             "The boss?! Just wait until I tell him about you and the driver.
                         Kidnapping  innocent pedestrians! You are the ones who are in
                         trouble."

Conductor:        "Uh?"

Helen:                 "Now how about some food, eh? And I'd like a nice glass of  white
                            wine to wash it down with please."

Conductor:          "I'm afraid that is impossible."

Helen:                 "Look, I've tried to be reasonable with you. It is obvious that I don't
                            belong with this crew. There's a bit of life in me yet. You and your
                            mate up there had better figure a way to get me back to that bus
                            stop, and fast! Understand!"

Just then the bus came to a halt. The guide hurried up to the front and picked up a microphone. He told them that an immigration control officer was boarding the bus. He told them to prepare for a short personal interview. Helen looked mischievous. She
would give this fellow the interview of his life. The guide looked at her nervously.
 

Part 7          Accusations

l.  The immigration officer called for help on his walkie-talkie. Presently two officers appeared to escort Helen off the bus. They took her to a kind of booth, sitting in the middle of a misty plain. An old man began to question her.

2. Man:  "twenty years ago you skipped school one day and went to the pictures. Why
               did you lie about it to your mother ?"

Helen:      "Good grief : I can't remember what happened twenty years ago. Even if  I
                  could ,I wouldn't discuss it with you."

Man:         "When you were sixteen you shop-lifted a pair of stockings from
                 Woolworths."

Helen:         "Yes. I felt terrible afterwards. I would have taken them back if I had had
                    the courage. I burnt them. "

Man:          "When you were nineteen you kidded Fred Harvey along for nine months
                    because he took you to expensive restaurants and shows."

Helen:        " I would have paid for myself if I hadn't been broke."

Man:           " Three times last year you told your husband that you were working
                    overtime. You really went out on the town with your friends."

 Helen:         " Yes, and I would lie to him again too if it would save an argument.
                    Look, I don't know who you are, but you are far too nosy. I want a bus
                    out of  here."
 

Part 8        A Shady Deal

1. Helen refused to cooperate with the old man. She got up and stamped off into the
    mist in a rage. Presently she heard a hiss:

"Psst. Over here. You want to get out of this hole. Talk to Franky. You and I can do a deal."

2. Helen looked around, but it was difficult to see anything in the mist. Suddenly a little guy with big ears appeared at her elbow. He was wearing a bow tie and a check sports coat. "God!", thought Helen. "Who would expect a sharp salesman to turn up in a place like this?"

Exercises for Part 8

1. Make questions using these verbs:

refuse; co-operate; stamp off; hear; offer; see; look like; wearing; expecting.

2.  Invent a conversation in which the little guy bargains with Helen. He is offering to smuggle her out of the place. She is suspicious. She wants to know how, and at what price.
 

Part 9         Bargaining

Helen:      What do you mean you can do a deal?

Franky:      Lady, I'm here to help people. I run a business, understand? But it costs
                  money to run a business.

Helen:          I don't have much money on me. I think there's only about $20 in my
                    purse.

 Franky:       No problem. You leave us a finger as security. We'll be happy to run
                    you down to Earth on credit.

 Helen:         Are you crazy?

Franky:         Lady, you're forgetting: this place is not like home. You can break off a
                     finger easily and put it back on anytime. (He snaps his left little finger
                    off. Helen gasps, but Franky calmly sticks it back in place.)
                    Now, you try that.

Helen:         Oh no! No way! You are as creepy as those other weirdos. Help!

Franky:        Hey, hey, not so loud. If they find you, you'll never leave. Now I'm not
                    going to hurt you. OK, so I don't run a luxury coach. I can only smuggle
                    you out on an old space-freighter. But my outfit will get you back to
                    Earth. I  guarantee that.

 Helen:         God; this is all crazy. I don't know what to do.
 

Part 10           The Homecoming

It was sometime after this conversation that Helen found herself standing on the footpath near her house. She didn't have a clue what had happened, but she was very hungry.

Her husband yawned at her. "Wests have won without any penalties", he said.

"You'd watch football while the sky fell in," snapped Helen sharply, but he wasn't listening.

 Later, however, when she passed him a slice of bread , he turned very pale.

"Where's your little finger?" he yelped.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you", said Helen. "Actually, someone is looking after it for me.
 

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